Those Darn Commercials

For a few days in a row Cindy’s mood saddened considerably. She was prone to crying in the morning, occasionally so in the evening. This did not seem to be a rise in self-awareness, as was the case when we stopped the drug donepezil. This was a deeper and longer sadness that I suspected was the beginning of the end.

Fortunately, I finally pinpointed a specific cause. We started watching a couple of game shows in the morning. I should say Cindy watched these programs, chosen by me because of the general good cheer and silliness involved. They had the intended effect of providing her some laughs, while I focused on the errands I could do on a computer nearby. The commercials shown during the late morning time slot were a different story.

The average caregiver is older and, by virtue of caregiving, at home in the mornings. What a good time for commercials telling caregivers about medications and home aids to help their loved ones who have dementia! Being commercials they resort to the standard marketing techniques, a little apprehension for what’s happening to your loved one, a little entitlement about the break caregivers deserve. While these messages are intended to sell something to caregivers, they imply that the Alzheimer’s patient, who just might be listening in, presents a burden.

Cindy no longer remembers that she has Alzheimer’s, except perhaps when she watches such commercials repeatedly. Then she cannot help but connect the dots for why she no longer can do many things. Particularly for Cindy, the active Go Go Go Gal, the independent Expedition Woman, being told she is now a helpless burden had a disastrous effect. We stopped watching late morning television and, lo and behold, her spirits are back to normal.

There is a broader message here. Telling Cindy she had Alzheimer’s was the right thing for the doctor to do at the time. After an initial bout of sadness we both took a positive “this is how we are going to make the most out of it” approach, which included being open and informative on this blog. On the other hand I cringe whenever anyone wants to talk about her affliction in front of her, no matter how well intentioned. Now if she needs an answer to why she can’t do something I tell her she has a brain health issue we are working on. That’s a factually true statement, providing the answer she needs for the moment without allowing her to infer that she is a burden.

People need to know the truth to make the most of their situations, to act in their best self-interests. They do not need the truth hanging over them oppressively like an albatross.