“They Come to See You Smile”

Dottie Satherlie is a 92 year old wonder who comes to visit Cindy on Wednesday mornings. Caring for others is nothing new for her. Dottie and husband Ken founded a school here in town for special needs children. She cared for Ken when he had Alzheimer’s; she cared for daughter Karen Davidson, of Davidson’s Rock, when she had cancer. Dottie was the main comforter to Dorothy Card in her declining years. Now Cindy is blessed with her visits.

To hear Dottie tell it, she is the one blessed by virtue of getting to see Cindy’s smile once a week. There is some truth to that. Cindy usually lights up when company comes calling and her smile has grown famous. After Dottie’s most recent visit I told Cindy that “they come to see you smile.”

Dot Satherlie

This contrasts with one depressing line of an otherwise beautiful poem about people with Alzheimer’s: “I am sad and sick and lost.” That may be true for many; but it is also true that people tend to become what they are perceived to be. If we expect people to be “sad and sick and lost” because of their Alzheimer’s, they more likely will become so.

That’s not to say that expecting happiness and smiles as a caregiver will produce happiness and smiles in a patient. I realize Cindy’s natural self has much to do with why she smiles and laughs so often. Yet I also do not doubt I could wreck that by expecting her to be saddened by her affliction.

Instead, we are engaged in a positive feedback loop here on Emerson Street. Cindy smiles and people smile. People smile and Cindy smiles. I just happen to be smart enough not to jeopardize that.