Catchy title, huh? Studies have shown that being sexually active promotes physical and emotional health. I have yet to see studies showing improvement for brain health, but since mind, body and soul are connected I’ve assumed such benefits exist. I have no intention of being the “kiss and tell” type, despite the importance of the topic and wanting to be as open as possible so others might learn from our experiences. No, my original intention with a series of posts on brain health was to start with diet and skip completely over the possible health benefits of sex. Fortunately, Google Alerts sent me something that provides an opportunity to shed light on the topic in a discreet way.
A man in Iowa recently was arrested for having intercourse with his wife who has Alzheimer’s. There is one mitigating detail that lessens the shock of that statement; she was living in a care facility. Another detail with some bearing is that this was the second marriage for both of them; relevant because they each had their own children who felt differently about what happened. The husband’s four children were OK with what happened; two of the wife’s children were not.
By all indications they were both very happy in their second marriage. He was a state legislator at one time and she would sit beside him at sessions. He also owned a sizable farm, an indicator of ample means. A man his age and with his means would be in demand with women his age, particularly since women in elder years significantly outnumber men. With his wife in a care facility the husband could have opportunities for sex that would be more … let’s say engaged … than with his wife, if he happened to be so sexually driven. Instead, perhaps he thought that sex would be healthy for his wife; perhaps he merely thought it would be enjoyable for her. Either way, I suspect this was done because of his love for her.
This then seems to be an important message to get out. For I don’t think the problem with a man getting arrested for intercourse with his wife in a care facility lies with either the legal system or the care facility. Disabled people are vulnerable, you want laws to protect them. You want care facilities to respond if a potential problem is brought to their attention. In the end, I suspect that the legal system will exonerate this man.
The problem instead lies with the people who objected to the behavior and decided drastic measures were needed. Maybe the two of the wife’s children alarmed by the incident thought their Step Dad was exploiting their Mom. I get that. A person with advanced Alzheimer’s can be manipulated easily yet is awkward with sex. A typical couple would no longer have sex, but empathy could work either way at this point. Either the husband feels for her awkwardness, or he just maybe does not want to abandon the normal benefits of marriage for his wife. I suspect the latter in this case, something the stepchildren should have taken into consideration.
OK, glad to have found a way to get that topic out of the way. In summary, sex is probably something that should be considered in promoting brain health, but there are difficulties. Now on to the more exciting topic of diet.
If you consider any of this helpful please consider donating to the Exercise for Brain Health Research Fund at the University of Maryland.
