My 2017 New Years Resolution is being faithful to the caregiver chart that hangs on our refrigerator. I created the chart as a guide for visiting companions, but I’ve resolved I should use it to make the most out of each caregiver day. With one exception, they are listed in order of importance.
Hugs/Dances – There’s a TED talk advocating eight hugs a day because of the hormones being released. Aside from the benefits, hugs are a necessity for Cindy. Whenever I get her up from sitting or lying down she is unable to balance at first. The time this takes has lengthened steadily: now I often tell her we are dancing. If a song is not playing I’ll sing as we hug. I feel this is the most important of all caregiver activities I do.
Joy – Unlike the other activities on this list, this is not one I schedule. Rather I look for opportunities to draw a smile from Cindy throughout the day, with everything we do. Joy is not only one of the most important activities for Cindy’s health, it is the most reliable indicator I have from her that life is worth living.
Reading – I often have said that reading prolifically to our kids was the single best parenting act we did; much the same reasons apply for why this is such an important activity to do with Cindy. From all the practice I’ve had I’m pretty good at it, injecting different emotions and character voices to hold her attention. Yet holding her attention is not as important as the nurturing quality of reading to someone, just a step below hugs and dancing.
Music – Research reveals the benefits of music for health. I have an advantage from being a guitarist and vocalist. We play music on Pandora; we shuffle through songs on the iPod; I play my guitar. Usually I’m practicing one of the movements from the symphony I am working on, to the point that I was losing my “muscle memory” for songs I used to play. Now I work on regaining that, starting with a playful southern folk song called “Cindy” that never fails to draw a smile.
Exercise – If Cindy was not so advanced with Alzheimer’s I might have cited this as the most important activity. Alas, what we now do for exercise would not be called that for most folks. When the weather is nice enough to get out we walk a few blocks, resting along the way. When home bound I consider escorting Cindy down and up the stairs twice a day as an exercise. That is not much, yet this limited opportunity to increase blood flow maybe the tipping point in allowing Cindy to still experience joy.
Television/movies -This might be considered a little high up on the list for a couple of long distance backpackers, but in a way this provides Cindy an opportunity to socialize. She laughs at sitcom follies and jovial reality TV like Property Brothers; cries at sappy Hallmark movies; even answers an occasional question posed by a character; with her mind not distinguishing between what’s on the screen and what is real. Besides, I make frequent jokes about our ironic boob tube watching.
Slides/photos; Hobbies/cook; Gaming/puzzles – These are all “look over my shoulder” activities that broadens Cindy’s day vicariously. The slides/photos serves as constant reminders of our family. Video games can be linked to a television monitor, as I constantly remind Cindy she is watching her hero in action.
Socializing – In reality socializing should be in the top five for importance, but I cite this last as an activity that is not wholly within my control. Cindy socializes with me every day, of course; this category really refers to others visiting Cindy, including paid companions. Usually both Cindy and the visitor benefit from the experience of spending time together.
I seldom get to all ten of these activities in one day, more like six or seven. That’s still enough to keep Cindy “busy” even though she has become relatively home bound.
