Family Embedded in a Community

“Your blog always reminds me that ‘true humanity’ starts from the family embedded in a community.”

Those are the words of Sigrid from Germany, wife to Kirk Haselton, long time hiker friend of our family. She goes on to say:

“Cindy and you have chosen the community you were born into over … things of material origin’. I am sure that this path has not always been easy for you to follow. However being faced with an extraordinary situation, you can now build on the humanity which you have laid the foundation for on in the past…..

The ‘famous Cindy smile’ touches me very much – for me she is a constant reminder of the ‘need’ to build true love and peace inside yourself, if you want to share it with other people and ‘hand it down’ to your kids. People who are affected by Alzheimer display their true emotional self, since they cannot hide anymore ‘behind the guards of rational control’….”

Cindy and Sigrid in Berlin

Sigrid then shares beautiful thoughts about how her grandmother had Alzheimer’s and how family moved in with her, prolonging both her happiness and life in the process. Sigrid then closes with commenting on our situation once again.

“Reading your last blog reminded me again of this whole situation, I was especially moved by your description of the graduation ceremony when Cindy stayed emotionally connected and alert through the whole event, since she must have felt that this has been a very important moment for one of the closest people in her life. I am very sure that people with Alzheimer’s never emotionally forget, they are maybe among the rare ones who can truly ‘see with their heart’ even if they cannot express it anymore in ways which we are more used to. One comment to Serena’s blog was on how beautiful and ‘radiating’ Cindy is – something you otherwise can only find in truly ‘enlightened’ people. I am very glad for Cindy that all the love and care she has always given to so many people inside and outside the family is coming back to her now and that she can experience this in her familiar home environment thanks to you and all the people who support you in your decision to become the full-time care giver for her.

I would like to thank you and Serena very much for sharing part of your experience in your blogs allowing your true humanity to radiate further into the world. I truly belief that only individual people and their choices can make the difference in transforming human society to a different level of true love and care….I wish all of you that you will be able to maintain this spirit no matter what the future will bring for you…..”

One thing that struck me about Sigrid’s heartfelt note, beyond the touching depth of feeling, was the irony. Sigrid no doubt had in mind our Norfolk community when she tapped the words “family embedded in a community.” Yet those words equally apply to our hiking community over the years, of which Sigrid and Kirk are an important part.

Sigrid’s note led me to reminisce deeply about all the support our hiker community has given us, extending to us from as far away as Germany. I’ve reported on those who hiked and met with us on our two final journeys. I’m afraid one name has been omitted to date, the one most significantly deserving of thanks.

The first year of marriage we did not take care of my Mom with Alzheimer’s because I had to finish coursework for my Masters. That is where our very close and long time hiking buddy John Markelon comes in. He needed a place to stay while student teaching; we needed someone to keep an eye on Mom while she was not yet advanced with Alzheimer’s. John, from our hiker community, was really the first caregiver for our family. As I reflect on that I feel remorse that I have never thanked John, at least not enough, for the service he provided.

John was the first manifestation of “family embedded in a community” and did a terrific job! Well, except for that whole “Fox in the Freezer” thing, which was going to be the title of this post. I’m smiling about that incident even now, but in the end I wanted to stick with a more serious tone. Ask me about the “Fox in the Freezer” should we get together. For now I just want to acknowledge one more time how extremely valuable our hiker community has been in supporting our family. Thank you, as well, to Sigrid for reminding me of that and being a part of that support.

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The is the last post in the Calm the Mind campaign sequence, a campaign to help you with stress management and help us with raising funds for a walk-in shower. The previous posts in this sequence were:

Give Me Some Sugar
A Tuft of Flowers
Motorcycle Mama

Help your stress management and our need for a walk-in shower by purchasing “Humility, Faith, Courage” by The Bards of Balance from CD Baby.

Be well.