Depression and Alzheimer’s

Ironically, this fourth stage of grief is the flip side of the final stage of acceptance.  A depressed feeling of hopelessness is accepting the negative, the tragedy of a situation.  Of course others want to help, quite apart from whether you’re depressed or not, yet in their help lies a danger.  I hope the lessons derived from my most depressed time can help others.

All my life I’ve been a positive, optimistic person.  When I published my rather negative take on how America’s social systems work my next step was to rebel against that and walk across America touting the virtues of kindness, community and humanity.  I am in large part a person compelled to look for the light at the end of the tunnel and head towards that light.

When no further improvement was evident in Cindy after that same walk ended my optimism was under trial.  Friends and family kept making suggestions in regards to diet, supplements, yoga, etc.  I listened to them, pursued most, uncovered a few additional tips for brain health, yet still no tangible results.

I first experienced short bursts of depression only.  For whatever reason these usually occurred while food shopping in the supermarket, alone amidst a bustle of people.  I needed to make a few deep sighs to quell the momentary feeling of hopelessness.

Then came a suggestion from Cindy’s sisters that I thought for sure was the answer.  A person with undiagnosed and unaddressed gluten sensitivity often displays mental impairments similar to hers.  That’s it!  Cindy’s family has a history of Celiac’s Disease; I was absolutely certain this must have been the problem.  I got Cindy tested for gluten sensitivity …. and the tests came back negative.

What happened next must be similar to what manic depressives go through, to get so high only to come crashing down.  Over the next year I engaged in a variety of distractions from my depression, in particular spending too much time in front of a computer without being productive.  Ironically, the emphatic diagnosis of Alzheimer’s served as a reset towards addressing our situation and moving beyond this stage.  Now that I’m on an active path of heading towards light there are tips I can provide for both caregivers and caregiver friends.

For the Caregiver:  Be wary of any miracle treatment that sets you up to fail.  The perfect example of this was the meditative ritual I came across that must be done 1000 days in a row or you have to start over.  Let me clue ya, a person even in the first stage of Alzheimer’s will never successfully accomplish this, nor are you as a caregiver likely to make sure that person does so.  Of course, when you fail it’s your fault and not the “treatment,” which could do miracles if only you had enough perseverance.  This delivers the double hit of guilt and failure.

Another example is required juicing.  Now juicing does provide benefits, namely increasing the absorption rate of the good stuff in fruits and vegetables.  I have nothing against detoxing by juicing as almost an adventurous endeavor that provides a quick return.  Yet mental impairments are chronic, insidious conditions.  You don’t need a quick return; you need a permanent lifestyle.  Juicing for a few days, followed by a lack of fruits and vegetables for a few days will not help as much as simply eating properly almost every day, though being wary once again of a claim like “you must have the proper amount of fruits and vegetables 1000 days in a row or else.”

Most important for the caregiver is to be aware that everyone is different.  I’m pretty certain that Cindy’s affliction was triggered by a combination of genetics and stress.  She is an 11,000+ mile backpacker nurse who has lived a simple, healthy lifestyle.  Knowing this I took all the well-meaning suggestions of diet, supplements and environmental factors with a grain of salt, even while pursuing some.  We’ve detoxed, we continue to use coconut oil.  Yet with these and other suggestions I did not get my hopes up as I did for gluten sensitivity.  Otherwise I might have turned into a true manic depressive by now.

For Caregiver Friends:  Of course you want to help; of course you want to pass along whatever tips you come across.  I’m not going to discourage that, considering I’m putting up a dozen or so tips a week on my Humanity Hiker Facebook Page.  Who knows?  One of them might work, like people being diagnosed with gluten sensitivity.  Yet provide your advice with a little discernment and humility.

Use the same filter I’ve suggested for caregivers.  Don’t recommend something that requires a Herculean effort to accomplish, even if you are capable of doing that yourself.  You only set someone up for failure, of getting hopes up and dashing them … and that’s the better case scenario.  Let’s face it, some treatments are intended to be this way precisely to get people on a hook; the people who stand to gain financially will have no qualms about adding on a layer of guilt as well.

Even with a “reasonable” treatment, something that allows for the occasional failure to eat your vegetables or such, keep in mind that everyone is different.  Don’t be pushy, dogmatic or certain in your recommendation.  You are demonstrating your friendship by just tossing it out there, perhaps providing a link or two.  The caregiver will follow up, or not, depending on the realities of his/her own situation.

Thanks for reading this through.  I truly hope this helps someone’s situation out there.