Cindy always referred to herself as “the audience” when the topic of music and our family came up. All our children play instruments; all can sing. Indeed, our youngest now is an elementary school music teacher. Cindy never could carry a tune, save for Christmas carols and Carole King songs. Giving Cindy “piano lessons” definitely is for the sake of finger dexterity and brain health, not to nurture her musical talents.
Indeed, Cindy’s lack of music involvement may have been caused by the piano. When she was young, piano lessons were provided for both her sister Lynn and herself. Cindy often retold the story that during one lesson her frustrated piano teacher lamented that she wished Cindy was more like her sister Lynn. Cindy stopped her lessons soon after that.
At one time a Hartt graduate student from Argentina gave our whole family piano lessons, including Cindy, in exchange for room and board. Gabriel Lofvall also happened to be serving as our church’s choir director at the time; now he is the Music Director for Joyful Noise. This was a terrific experience for our kids, both with housing someone from Argentina and with the piano lessons, but for Cindy the lessons were once again short-lived.
Cindy’s first piano lesson as part of her finger dexterity/ brain health program did not go as expected. I always seem to be behind the eight ball in coming up with activities for her, optimistically hoping to pull off things already out of her reach. The same thing happened with her piano lesson, though with an encouraging twist.
I first asked her to just plunk any piano key she wanted, while I tried to play something that fit in. Her mind could not tell her fingers what to do. I held her index finger and plunked a few keys with it. When I let go of her fingers, her mind still could not take over. Finally I held onto her finger the whole time for playing a C scale.
I thought to myself: “Well, that was disastrous!” Once again I came up with a task that she really could not do. To my surprise, when we were done she said: “That was good!” She wanted to continue her “lessons” into the future.
How often do we hear the phrase: “Everything is relative.” Relative to a healthy brain, no one would be satisfied with someone having to hold his/her finger in order to plunk a piano key. The world is different for someone with dementia. The brain “taketh away” the connections of mind to body for many functions, yet at the same time takes away the memory and perspective that would sadden a person over this.
I may never get “reacquainted” with the piano this year. I may have to continue assisting Cindy with using her fingers instead, just as I assist her with all daily living activities. At least this assistance brings a smile.
