Caregiver Activity – Reading Out Loud

I met Cindy in the fall of 1979, as part of a group based out of the University of Connecticut that would be spending the next school year preparing to thru-hike the Appalachian Trail. I already had graduated from UConn, but would be driving down from New Hampshire to participate in the meetings and practice hikes. Having already hiked with the 1975 UConn AT Expedition I now wanted to draw from that experience to enhance the thru-hiking experience of others in the group.

I came down for the first practice hike in my brand new Datsun, my very first car. Of course I was thrilled by the newness of it all. As I hiked together with Cindy and a couple of others in the group, through a nondescript section of trail we called “zombosisland,” I read the manual for my brand spanking new Datsun out loud. I added a certain flair to the prose, er, manual, giving my best Shakespearean performance as I narrated about dashboard features and how to change the oil.

Cindy later would recall that was when she fell for me, expressing fondness for my sense of humor and drawing looks of revulsion from our children. Yet even our kids acknowledge the desirability of my reading out loud. Both Cindy and I started out much like other parents, reading books by Dr. Seuss and about the Magic School Bus.

I could not let it stop there. Instead, I saw this as a grand opportunity to relive some of my favorite encounters with books. I read the Narnia series to them and eight of the Redwall books. When they grew older, with Noah transitioning from elementary to secondary school, two of my nephews that lived nearby would come over in the evening and I would read the Lord of the Rings trilogy to my expanded audience.

My crowning achievement for reading out loud to our kids was the Wizard of Oz series. Fourteen Oz books were written by the original L. Frank Baum and nineteen more by Ruth Plumly Thompson. I was able to track down and read all but the last three books in the series.

I’m reliving the Oz experience yet again as I read the series for Carter, the boy next door. Admittedly, Carter once broke Cindy’s heart. She was outside gardening when a two year old Carter came up to her bearing a flower. Cindy’s heart started to melt until he said: “could you give this to Kirk.” Ah, but as Carter grew older and wiser he shifted his affections more to the sweet one between us. Cindy loves having Carter and his younger twin brothers next door, we both do, and Cindy loves to listen in as I am able to read Oz out loud once again.

Of course, I also read out loud specifically for Cindy. I started with the Henry Huggins books we have on hand, followed by a particular favorite of the family’s, the Indian in the Cupboard series. Having recently finished that I’ve now started on the first Narnia book.

I’ve always said that the single best thing I’ve ever done as a parent was read prolifically to my kids. It’s not just the engaging of the minds that proved so valuable. I recall nothing as warmly bonding between me and my children as those sessions when we all curled up on the couch together, sharing the experience of a fantastic tale of imagination.

No surprise, then, that reading out loud may very well be the most special caregiver activity I do with Cindy. We might be sharing a meal and she will get up to wander about the house. We might be watching one of our favorite television shows and she will get up to wander. She never gets up to wander once I start reading to her. Indeed, reading out loud has proven the most effective means of stopping her from wandering.

I never know exactly what goes through her mind as I read. Sometimes she comments or laughs as if she is fully in the experience of the story, perhaps proving once again that people with dementia are still adept at perceiving, at taking in experiences. Other times she just sits still, almost as if she is meditating. Maybe she is thinking back to rainy days and couches and our young children listening with rapt attention. Or maybe, just maybe, she still is able to think back to the funny guy that read his Datsun manual out loud with Shakespearean flair.