This past weekend my brother Bob and wife Jill came down from New Hampshire to visit us. They dropped by four consecutive days, Friday to Monday. The highlight was the games we played on Sunday afternoon, when yours truly might have had too much pina colada. All throughout they paid specific attention to Cindy, indeed, she was the main reason for their visit.
I recall the joy Mom had whenever one of her sons came to visit our house. I also recall that for her last couple of months on earth, spent in a nursing home, joy from anything eluded Mom. Thankfully, Cindy still gets extravagant joy when family and friends visit, here in her home. That happened over this past weekend.
I read plenty about the advantages of pet therapy for dementia patients. Duly noted. We have wonderfully affectionate pets that delight Cindy in many ways. I read plenty about how social interactions benefit everyone, whether for maintaining or regaining brain health. Duly noted. My advocacy for kindness and community is founded on this premise.
Yet these articles usually prod us to join groups, go to church, take classes, attend adult day care, etc. I do not recall an article that specifically cites having company over as a tonic for brain health, let alone our quality of life. Does anyone doubt the value of having company?
Oh sure, having company over is often stressful under normal circumstances. There is a house to clean, an elaborate dinner to be made, last minute errands to run. Fortunately, we no longer worry about any of that. I might make a batch of popcorn or I might call out for pizza; these usually satisfy the taste buds as well as an elaborate dinner. Our friends Dave and Shelley recently asked if they could drop by in the near future … and they want to bring dinner with them. How cool is that!
Whatever the burden hosting might be for the caregiver, the reward is tremendous for most. Granted for some people, whether due to their nature or environment, might gain more joy from an animal than another person. That should not be true for most folks, even with advanced Alzheimer’s. The joy of company having a good time is like a spark igniting inflammable souls. We all want to feel joy. When that happens easily to one person, as can be the case for some people like Cindy with advanced Alzheimer’s, the joy is contagious, particularly for the caregiver.
I won’t say this is a sure thing. People with advanced Alzheimer’s need to be engaged in some way. Something might need to be provided for the company to produce the spark, such as light-hearted games, anything that provides a relaxed state of mind. Find out what will produce that spark and have company over next week. Your loved one deserves joy, as do you.
