During the holiday season I select a Christmas music station from Pandora and our cable provider. We listen to this music at every mealtime (Pandora) and occasionally during the day (cable). Every so often I’ll sing the lyrics of a carol and Cindy subconsciously joins in. She realizes she is singing and we give each other the type of smile flashed by hearty partyers.
This is the good side of Christmas music and music in general. The parts of the brain that process music are the most resistant to dementia. Stories frequently come to my attention about the therapeutic benefits of music to those who struggle with their memories; I can say the same about those moving pet videos. Certainly our pets are a boon to Cindy’s mood as well.
I’m a great believer in both music and pets. They have made my goal of maintaining a high quality of life for Cindy much easier. Yet …..
I wonder about some of those music stories or videos of pets drawing Alzheimer’s patients out of their near comatose states. I’ve seen those blank stares. I saw them perpetually with my father-in-law, early on in his affliction. As I archive some of our family photos what strikes me about Cindy’s Dad is the constant blank stare in every single one of them, despite the photos always being with family. My Mom had an occasional blank stare at home, which then turned perpetual during her last few months, spent in a nursing home. Yes, even Cindy gets an occasional blank stare when she’s not fawning over pets, laughing at sitcoms with me or enjoying a family gathering.
Which leads me to wonder about the lives of those whose continual blank stares are conquered mainly by music or pets, not by family and friends. Is it something about their past life? Is it something about their present life? Is it something about them? For I know it is not dementia alone that drapes a perpetual blank stare over its victim. Not only should family and friends bring on a smile and some memories as readily as music; they should be able to surpass music in that regards.
I think the key to this is in building new memories. “What?” you say. Is not the very essence of dementia a memory robber? Yes, but on the other hand the brain is capable of rewiring itself (called neuroplasticity). Sure, there is less to rewire with the continual ravishes of Alzheimer’s, but the wiring continues nonetheless. How the brain rewires depends on two things.
No blank stares with friends around
One is the overall health being maintained. Recent articles report on how poor blood circulation leads to psychosis in Alzheimer’s patients. Heart problems, smoking, stress, depression, little activity, poor diet all can lead to poor blood circulation, thus all can lead to psychosis or some other form of mental instability, including withdrawal into a blank stare. This is just another good reason why maintaining the highest quality of life should be the main goal of the caregiver, which does not necessarily mean maintaining the highest comfort level.
As long as overall health is being maintained, then I see no reason why the brain cannot be rewired for good, happy memories. Cindy cannot recall memories or names, except under unpredictable, spontaneous conditions. Yet there is absolutely no doubt she has built new memories.
She continues to know Alison, the person who recently rented from us. She continues to expect Garfield to play with lights, though he is our only pet that has done that. She knows our neighbor new dog instantly. She knows what to expect when I declare: “It’s Denise Austin time!” Of course, all of these need to be reinforced for the rewiring, which plays right into my hands.
The bane to my children is boon to my wife. I’m speaking about my tendency to use the same pun, the same teasing, the same outrageous claims over and over and over and over again. What quickly becomes old news for the kids is rewiring for Cindy. I know she remembers because she always starts to giggle before I reach the punch line.
“So how does it feel being married to ….” (Cindy giggles, before I get to the part about me being a stud or a hunk … should I take offense to that?)
“Come on! You embarrass me!” (Cindy giggles, when in reality I was the one who burped. Sometimes she starts smiling before I even say anything because she knows what’s coming after the burp).
I’m the guy who never grew out of pulling pigtails as a means of flirting, yet now my sophomoric behavior comes in handy as a memory builder. Could I be my naturally obnoxious self around anyone else with such great effect? What a team we make!
There is another memory builder I have that produces giggles before i reach the punchline, though the delivery is meant for much more than just laughs. I believe I shared this once before, but is worth repeating.
“Hey, Cindy! I’ve got a secret,” I’ll say in a low voice. (knowing giggles)
“You can’t tell anyone else I told you this.” (knowing giggles)
“If you do I’ll deny it. Tell everyone you’re fibbing.” (knowing giggles)
Then I’ll move in close and whisper into her ear: “I love you.”
More giggles, though this time like a blushing schoolgirl. This works like a charm every time, better than music or pets, creating a memory she’ll never forget. If only tools like music or pets can draw someone out of their Alzheimer’s fog, or even if these are the best tools, then something else has gone wrong besides Alzheimer’s.
