Our morning coffee has brought some interesting moments. Cindy often reaches for my coffee, instead of hers, while we are relaxing around the kitchen table. That opens the floodgates for teasing about her trying to steal my food, with both of us getting a chuckle. One morning she actually reached for the bacon on my plate. I told her, with my impish grin, that she was lucky she still had a hand! The funniest breakfast incident though did involve coffee … and a sock.
Coffee is usually the last thing we finish at the breakfast table. By that time I often get a little jump on the dishes. One morning I turn around to drink the last of my coffee, but it was gone. So was Cindy. I walk around the first floor, no coffee or Cindy. I walk around the second floor, no coffee or Cindy. I go up the stairs to the attic, where we have a den and spend much of our time. As I approach the top of the stairs there was Cindy holding the cup of MY coffee in her right hand, and dipping into it HER sock with the left.
Most of communication is nonverbal and even the verbal part depends on the delivery. In this case I said, with a huge smile, “Are you intending to poison me, or just sending a message?” With that comment the absurdity of what she was doing came across in a light-hearted way. She started laughing and an incident that might have been bad for her health instead maintained her quality of life.
There are concrete, physiological advantages to laughter. Laughter increases blood flow while it occurs and lowers blood pressure with the overall positive state of mind it helps to induce. Laughter depresses stress hormones and increases endorphins. In fact, the physiological benefits of laughter is much the same as exercise. Laughter also activates T cells that boost the immune system. All these effects improve the quality of life; all of these effects have been shown to improve brain health. One cannot laugh 24/7, but the light-hearted and positive carry overs from levity provides lasting benefits.
Levity is achieved easily with Cindy. When she stumbles with their speech I respond with the old chestnut: “Easy for you to say.” Along with all my other old chestnuts (“thanks for the warning,” “can I pay with my looks,” etc.) these never fails to draw a chuckle. They did thirty years ago; they did yesterday. We are both fortunate in that we can laugh at ourselves and each other without bruised egos getting in the way. Cindy delighted in being called a clutz, me in being called a slob, long before dementia came along to change our lives.
There now are unusual opportunities for levity, such as the sock in the coffee cup. While in Florida Cindy asked me things like “Where do you live?” I could have reacted with sunken shoulders to that. Instead I responded “I better be living with you or I’m in trouble” and we both laughed.
When my humor is not enough I turn to the ol’ reliables. This means we watch more television than our former active selves. Yet Cheers and Big Bang Theroy never fails to deliver even when I can’t. Besides, a good laugh is almost as good as exercise.
