During our walk across the country our motto was “Believe in Humanity.” I printed this on T-shirts for sale, to help fund our walk. Ironically, I gave away as many as I sold in thanks for the kindness bestowed upon us. People of all types all across America provided just cause to “Believe in Humanity.” Now my duties as a caregiver draw from this same motto.
I called for communities to believe in humanity as motivation for community involvement, which has been in decline for decades. Communities involve people living as neighbors. Believing in humanity increases the potential of what you can accomplish with your neighbors. I spoke about this in talks I gave across the country, but more importantly I observed this very phenomenon in towns everywhere.
The counterexample of not believing in humanity leads to a greater distrust of what can be done with your neighbors. Unfortunately, we tend to live up or down to perceptions and expectations. Not believing in humanity, not believing in community, then becomes self-fulfilling. Lowering expectations for humanity serves various civilized entities at the expense of community involvement, but that is not the main concern of this post.
A variety of factors may get in the way of being an effective caregiver; some cannot be helped. Make sure that believing in yourself is one that can be helped. I speak not of the traditional advocacy for believing in yourself; I am not encouraging you to achieve all your goals. Rather I refer to the belief in yourself that, once again, derives from believing in humanity. I refer to the belief in yourself that reinforces your compassion and responsibility.
In our society caregivers for people with dementia run a much greater risk of acquiring dementia as well. Why should that be so? Over the millennia and in other societies caregivers often have been uplifted, rather than harmed, through their caregiver experience. Part of the problem with our society lies in the greater stress of daily living here, compared to other societies. Becoming a caregiver may provide a tipping point for stress.
Another part is how much our expectations for humanity have been lowered. These lowered expectations impact caregiver involvement like they do community involvement. In contradiction to what civilized philosophers, economists, politicians and other gatekeepers tell us, who all have something to gain from you not believing in yourself, you instead should be listening to your own hormones. The hormones for compassion and responsibility make us healthy when in abundance. The hormones for greed and aggression undermine our health, beyond the small doses that temporarily enhance performance.
I ask forgiveness for whenever my own belief in myself may have come across in the past as cocky. Quite the opposite is true. Because I believe in humanity I not only believe in myself, I believe in you. I believe in all of us to do what is right by each other if we don’t become too “civilized.”
Now you should believe in yourself, rooted in the knowledge that humanity is naturally compassionate and responsible. Believe in yourself for the sake of your community; believe in yourself for the sake of your loved ones; believe in yourself for the sake of your own health.
Well said sir !